So, this week we are officially half way done with our torture sessions workouts with Trainer Mike.
And, no, he hasn't gotten any nicer.
Okay, that's not really true. He's super nice but mean at the same time because he makes us do so many impossibly hard things. It's maddening. Here's a picture of him that I stole from Facebook (that's what it's for, right?) so everyone knows just what I have to deal with twice a week.
It's really difficult, let me tell you.
And yes, his arms really are that big.
So, I want to document tonight's workout. Just so I remember what I survived. I also would like the record to show that I am sick. I have what we Utahns call the mandatory 'Jump Into Spring' cold. I haven't had a cold for 2 years and I was so hoping that I would have the same good luck this year, but that did not happen. My throat has been super sore for 4 days and now my sinuses, nose and lungs have joined the party. I'm pretty miserable and totally wanted to skip this workout but decided that since I was miserable anyway, I might as well suffer through. Plus, I thought that Mike might go a little bit easier on me since I am very apparently under the weather (my nose is super red a la Rudolph), but he was not.
I even took my own box of lotion saturated Kleenex because the last time I had to blow my nose at the gym, I had to use toilet paper.
red, sore nose + scratchy toilet paper = misery
The owner of the gym, Jess was totally offended and showed me his whole supply closet full of lotion-y Kleenex. So sorry Jess. I will not bring my own Kleenex again.
Okay, so we started out with a 'pep talk' about our diet. It's not going so well. This is the meal plan Mike gave me last week:
3 day low carb
Meal 1
1/4 cup oatmeal or quinoa, 5 egg whites
Snack
Protein drink (dymatized ISO 100) & (1 tsp of all natural peanut butter)
Meal 2
10 oz of (turkey, chicken breast (skinless), cup of veggies +, 1 medium sweet potato
Snack
23 almonds
Dinner
8 oz fish ( salmon, tilapia, orange roughy etc), veggies ( spinach, broccoli) or bowl of salad , 1/2 avocado
Supplement
Take multivitamins complex daily
Fish or flax oil 2 times a day
Glutamine before bed time
Drink at least 1 gallon water daily
1 day high carb
Meal 1
1/2 cup oats or quinoa, 5 egg white , 1 whole egg, 1/2 grape fruit
Snack
Protein drink (1 scoop)
Lunch
Chicken salad:
Toss 6 ounces shredded skinless roast chicken breast with 1/4 cup sliced red grapes, 1 table spoon slivered almonds, 1 table spoon light mayonnaise, 1 table spoon fat free sour cream, serve over lettuce
Snack
1 apple,
Dinner
6 ounce poached salmon ( or tilapia), (1 cup steamed green beans, or mixed veggies)
1/2 avocado, 1/4 cup cooked brown rice or quinoa.
Sounds delicious, right?
I did really well the first 2 days but if I have to eat another egg white, I'm going to throw up. They are so disgusting! So, I substitute egg whites with cottage cheese and throw in a few carbs because I get straight up crazy if I go too long without salt and vinegar potato chips. Diet is 80% of weight loss/health. I'm getting better at it!
Okay, now to the workout. After our 20 minute chat, we started with squats to shoulder presses. I had 10 lb weights. 50 reps.
I got this image here
Next we did 50 reps of bicep curls.
I got this image here
My biceps are getting pretty toned! It's really exciting.
Then we did a 6-stop circuit (because there were 6 of us). I started doing these pull-up things on a bar. It was awful - as is most all of the stuff we have to do. We used (I don't know all the terms) but the bar of the barbell that was on the rack. We put our feet very far forward, held onto the bar and lowered our bodies to the floor and pulled ourselves back up the bar.
I could only do 3 before I had to rest.
Mike is the devil.
The next stop was leg presses with 90 lbs. Not fun, but not impossible.
Next was squatting to pick up a 25 lb medicine ball, lifting it above our heads while standing up, then throwing it as high as we could up in the air and letting it fall to the floor.
And repeat.
The next torture method was similar to the first but we pulled our bodies up basically off the floor while holding onto rings attached to rope - I'm sure there's a technical name for it. I call it 'Hell on Earth.' After about 3 reps, it's pretty impossible.
The next stop was kettlebell squats with 25 lbs. We put our butts lower than this chica in the picture. More of a squat, not so much bending over.
I got this image here
Then the last one was a tricep pull. It was pretty easy at first (17.5 lbs) but was super difficult after 80 reps.
I got this image here
Since we started the actual workout later than normal, this took a good amount of time so I was excited when I looked at the clock and we only had about 15 minutes left. Mike sent us outside to run to the stop sign and back. It's about 3 blocks which isn't far - I know - but we were already SO tired! Plus, there is a Walgreens drive-thru window, Chevron and a bank drive-thru between the gym and the stop sign. That means that tons of people get to see us struggling there and back. We leave all of our pride at the door of the gym.
So, we jogged/made our way pretty slowly to the stop sign and back. When we got back, Mike had us turn around and do jump squats back to the stop sign.
Seriously?!
I told you! He's so mean!
Jump squats are exactly how they sound. You jump forward, then squat. Jump forward, then squat. I got about 3/4 of the way down one block then had to switch to walking squats - which aren't that much easier. Especially after you do a million of them. You face sideways with your legs far apart, do a squat and touch the ground in front of you with both hands, then, with your feet still far apart, you do a 180 then squat again as you (very slowly) move your way down the block.
It's hard not to feel embarrassed because there are a lot of people watching me struggle my way down the sidewalk. Especially because there's another trainer going up and down the same stretch with her team of real-life Barbies. But, I don't care. Most of the people in the Walgreens drive-through are picking up prescriptions for weight-related conditions and the people at the bank's next stop is the fast food drive-thru on their way home. I am making a change and I don't care what anyone else thinks.
I need to be better about writing down the specific exercises we do because, as much as I love Mike and would love to keep going to him twice a week for forever, I can't afford him.
Here's to a positive life change!
I got this!
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