Sunday, September 29, 2013

I See You

So, the fact that I am a world-class scaredy cat has been (well) documented on this blog. 



The other night, I freaked out to a whole new level.


I went to a BBQ last Tuesday in Provo with some friends. It was good to see people I haven't seen for a while. I got home about 10 pm and started to get ready for bed. I opened my bedroom window to cool off my room before I went to sleep. I am way too paranoid to sleep with my window open, but I like to sleep in a cool room so I usually open it for a while before I go to bed.


I washed my face and brushed my teeth, then went to my dresser to get my pajamas. My dresser is just to the right of my window. I grabbed my pajamas and shut the drawer. As I was turning away, I heard a man's voice loudly say "HELLO!

RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW!

Seriously, like 2 feet away.


I am not kidding.


(I live in a super quiet neighborhood and the gate to my backyard is always locked. Always).


I IMMEDIATELY WENT INTO FULL-ON PANIC MODE. WHAT DOES ONE DO IN THIS SITUATION? I JUMPED TO THE WINDOW, SLAMMED IT SHUT, LOCKED IT AND PULLED THE BLINDS. I QUICKLY RAN ACROSS THE ROOM, GRABBED MY GUN AND MY PHONE (IN THAT ORDER) AND CROUCHED DOWN INTO THE FETAL POSITION IN MY CLOSET. I DIALED 9-1-1, BUT A THOUGHT CAME INTO MY MIND BEFORE I COULD HIT 'SEND'...


My backyard neighbors have an African Grey Parrot.


I don't know much about parrots, or African Greys in particular, but I have heard that they can mimic human voices exactly. But what are the chances? I am positive that the voice was right outside my window. It really was.


But, how embarrassing would it be to call 911 and have the cops come check it out only to find out it was my neighbor's stupid bird? I really wanted to avoid another embarrassing moment (go here to see my last 911 fail) so I decided to do a little investigating.

I don't know my neighbors. I haven't ever talked to them but they're in my ward, so I opened the ward directory on my phone and looked them up. It was after 1o pm but when I opened my window a few minutes earlier, I had noticed their lights were on.


So, I called and the dad answered. "Um, hi. I'm Cali, your back neighbor. I just heard a man's voice in my backyard and am totally freaked out. Are your windows open and is your bird talking?!"


And, this nice man LAUGHED at me! Seriously?! (I mean, it's funny now but it so was not then. He then said, "Yep, my windows are open and my bird is uncharacteristically chatty tonight."


Great.



Actually, it was great. I was so relieved. I mean, I was still completely freaked out and didn't sleep at all that night, but I was relieved. The wind must have blown just right for the bird's voice to seem right outside my window. It was so freaky.


I called my parents and my dad laughed so hard that I'm such a spazz that he had a hard time breathing. 



Thanks dad. Like I said, it's funny now but was not for a couple of days.


I posted about the creeper outside of my window experience on Facebook and Uncle Bob commented that he's glad I at least had a plan.


Crouching in the fetal position in my closet doesn't really feel like a plan.


It feels more like panic and desperation.



I was a mess for the rest of the night and finally had to take a sleeping pill and use ear plugs at about 3 a.m. It was not easy getting up, but this greeted me when I opened my blinds.








The most unreal sunrise I have ever seen. Why post 1 photo when you can post 7? (I whittled it down from 17). All of these shots are straight out of the camera.


No filter or Photoshop needed.



We live in a beautiful world.



(p.s. I have really missed blogging. I need to make it more of a priority).